ROBERTA BHASIN is the author of Mastering Management-A Guide for Technical Professionals which is published by Miller Freeman Inc. She also conducts seminars and speaks on management for technical professionals.

Don’t get angry, get what you want

Suppose you have worked very hard to develop a new process that, when implemented company wide, will save time, money, and improve the organization’s customer service image. Over the last year, you have jumped through all the buy-in hoops you could think of with the various division and department heads, involving key people in the development of the process.

Suppose that you also held focus groups for input, briefings for information, and in-depth interviews for understanding with managers. You even had a series of articles put in the company publication to keep folks informed about the progress of the work. On top of it all, top management loves it.

Then, reality strikes. Yesterday, you sent an e-mail to those individuals responsible for implementation within their organizations that says, “Green light. It’s implementation time. Go ahead with the new procedures, and let me know how I can help.”

MAKING IT HAPPEN. You fully expected cheerful, smooth sailing, but that morning, you had a good half dozen responses saying, “I don’t recall agreeing to this…it’ll never work….do you realize how much this is going to cost?”

Before you fire off a bunch of knee-jerk reactions that will only make the situation worse, take a few minutes to calm down. Don’t get angry, and don’t plan how you can get even (right now, anyway!). Instead, use some of the following techniques to temper your anger and, over time, to get what you want:

• Take time to diffuse your anger. Stretch those few minutes for calming down into overnight, or even 48 hours. If so-and-so needs a reminder of the meeting in which he pledged you his 100% support, so be it. Give him the benefit of a doubt and the reminder in a good-natured way, such as, “Jim, I recall that you suggested XYZ early on in this project. I really appreciated that input and hope you’ll be pleased to see that it’s incorporated in Step 4.”

• React to the facts, not the person sending it. Jane is not dumb if she doesn’t realize your project will cost little or nothing to implement. She just needs information. Start communicating with her more, thanking her for her concern about efficiency and cost, and providing an accurate rundown of the dollars and cents.

• Try to inject humor into the situation. Smile to yourself and joke with the person about his or her negative response, saying something like: “You know, I thought of that alternative as well, but then Sam pointed out that the last time I tried it I ended up with oil covering my new work boots.” You get the idea.

• Find something to agree upon. Look for a point of agreement in the negative response. For example, in the preceding scenario, agree on the need for efficiency. Then, transform into your most persuasive self for the rest of the response.

• Look for solutions. Remember that in every conversation, you can make the choice to make it better or make it worse. You’re in charge, so channel your anger into a problem-solving mode. “Thanks for your note, Rich. You’ve raised an important issue. Why don’t we talk about ways we can work together on it so that this thing succeeds for all of us?”

• Think about calling in a favor. Surely you have a few left! “I really need your help on this one, Stan. Remember the time when I helped you with that budget shortfall …loaned you my best engineer…smoothed our manager’s ruffled feathers over your audit problem…pulled the all-nighter to help you get that report in on time…?”

• Be assertive when dealing with a stonewaller. “Sorry, Joe. That won’t work this time. Our manager says we need to get this done, and, as much as I can see where you’re coming from, I’m afraid the decision’s been made. Why don’t I come down and help you with it?”