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CAREER DEVELOPMENT
Networking in the round
If you are the type who forgets to take business cards to seminars, industry events, or community meetings, perhaps you need to be reminded of the old phrase, "It's not what you know, but who you know" that counts ... and who knows you.
"I'm just not good at small talk," you might retort. "I never know what to say to new people, especially in groups where everyone seems familiar with everybody else-except me. And I'm just not the type who 'collects' other people. I don't even have a Rolodex."
Take heart. Very few of us are born with the ability to make small talk, but all of us can learn. And it is an important skill for a couple of reasons. First of all, it is the way people begin to connect in social or business situations. Secondly, most of us would rather do business with someone we have met than with a complete stranger. So, get yourself a Rolodex or its electronic equivalent, and take the following tips, some of which come from Debra Fine, who has developed the Fine Art of Small Talk:
Before you go to an event, come up with three or four topics to talk about. One source might be the daily newspaper. What is the industry news of the day? If you are at a convention or business meeting, what topics are of most interest to you or, perhaps, are the most controversial?
At an event, take the initiative. Others will be grateful to you for being the first to introduce yourself with a smile. Contrary to what you might think, they are probably just as uncomfortable as you are.
Forget about yourself and focus on others. Try introducing those you have just met to others so that there are more of you to join in the conversation. Reintroducing these folks will also help you to better remember their names.
Ask people why they have chosen to attend this event. Find out what they expect to take away from it. You might discover some common interests or business problems that you are working to solve.
Get people to talk about themselves. You can get people to talk about themselves without being nosy. Say, for example, "Tell me about your family," or "How did you happen to get interested in ...," or "How did the big storm last week affect your business?"
Notice that these questions are not answerable with a simple "yes" or "no." Rather, they are open-ended, asking for responses that will tend to give you additional information, opinions, or ideas on which to build your own comments.
Show interest in everyone. Regardless of whether they appear interesting or not, show interest in every person you meet. The more you show your interest in their remarks-through questions and thoughtful responses-the more positive an impact you will make.
Remember how important thoughtful responses can be. Give a little of yourself-your opinions, observations, likes, or dislikes-to the people you are meeting. If all you do is ask questions, they could begin to feel like they are being grilled rather than involved in an interesting chat.
Make those you are talking with feel important. Listen carefully to what they say. Put their names into the conversation. Remember where they work. Ask their opinions. Don't let your eyes wander off looking for the next person to greet.
Prepare a graceful exit. When there is a natural break in conversation, or when you really do need to move on, be prepared with a graceful exit line such as, "I need a refill," or "I haven't seen the exhibits yet," or "I'd better say hello to our host before the program begins," or "I really want to meet the speaker" and so on. Then say, "I've enjoyed talking with you. Good luck with-" or give some other indication that you are happy to have spent a little time with this person.
If appropriate, ask for a business card. Do this especially if you think you might have occasion to contact this person again. Respond with your own. It could very well be that you have just made a new friend, not just another "contact."
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